{"id":1892,"date":"2024-10-29T16:17:56","date_gmt":"2024-10-29T23:17:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/?p=1892"},"modified":"2024-10-29T16:17:56","modified_gmt":"2024-10-29T23:17:56","slug":"its-not-too-late","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/?p=1892","title":{"rendered":"It&#8217;s Not Too Late"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>It\u2019s not too late to try, to try again, to stop doing the things that hurt you. If you\u2019re still here, it\u2019s not too late.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve had to restart my life over and over. It\u2019s been hard, exhausting, frustrating, expensive. I made mistakes, undervalued myself and my skills, and thought I could do more than was possible for me. I trusted some\u2014even some family members\u2014who gaslit, stole from, lied to, and even betrayed me. But I trusted others who\u2019ve repaid me for my trust over and over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I went to places where I felt out of my depth and believed I was a huge failure. And there I met wonderful friends who saw me struggle but still believed in me. I\u2019ve made friends half my age and twice my age, and they\u2019ve taught me many things I couldn\u2019t learn without them. I\u2019m grateful that I didn\u2019t give up on myself or them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No, I didn\u2019t give up on myself or the world. I knew I had to be strong for my child, and her love and faith in me made me stronger. I didn\u2019t stoop to thinking that everyone was bad just because some people treated me badly. I learned to be more humble (and I\u2019ll need to keep on learning that, painfully but importantly, till I die). I\u2019ve hated the embarrassment and humiliation that taught me important lessons. Emotional suffering is not a gift; it\u2019s torn me up. But I have indeed learned from misfortune. It made me both stronger and more tender.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-medium\"><a href=\"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Yuch.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"263\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Yuch-263x300.png\" alt=\"A large print ad posted in a window says the following in black text on a white background: &quot;Start in November. Start in your 40s. Start on Friday. Start at 5 pm. Start on 31st. Start late. Start.&quot;\" class=\"wp-image-1894\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Yuch-263x300.png 263w, https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Yuch-896x1024.png 896w, https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Yuch-768x878.png 768w, https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Yuch.png 1330w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 263px) 100vw, 263px\" \/><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><em>A brilliant ad by Studio Yuch, Jakarta, Indonesia<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>Life has taught me to be tenacious, to try over and over\u2014I learned this so well that I\u2019ve many times made myself ill with effort. But I also learned how to at last move on when situations were clearly not healthy and not fixable. I learned that sometimes relationships of various kinds\u2014business, romantic, friendship\u2014can\u2019t work even when both people are kind, honest, and good. That doesn\u2019t mean they were always wrong or bad, nor that they weren\u2019t worth trying. Sometimes they simply run their course, at least in one form. And sometimes exes make marvelous friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m much better at taking breaks and stepping away from emotionally dangerous people now. I still work on trusting that doing the best I can is good enough. It doesn\u2019t seem to be so, and I can\u2019t attain many of my goals. I disappoint myself daily. But I try to forgive myself for not being the perfect child my parents taught me I should be to be worthy of love and respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I do try. I do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve learned some bad things by having to get back up on the horse after so many falls. I learned to be more anxious. I learned to not trust that someone else would necessarily be there if I fell. I learned that a few of the people who loved me could be cruel. Some actively wanted to hurt me. But those people are few, and I\u2019m not in contact with them anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have a lot of emotional scars. My body can\u2019t do all it once could. I hurt every day, and probably will every day from here on out. But I\u2019m still glad to be here. Not all the time, of course. I\u2019m frightened of the fragility of democracy, of the consequences of Earth\u2019s battered ecosystem, of the rise in fascism, and the increases in incivility and actively hateful rhetoric and action. But my fears aren\u2019t enough to make me quit. We\u2019re still here, and I\u2019m glad. We can still start new things. We can make and do and sing and fix things. We can love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m glad you\u2019re here with me. Let\u2019s start something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s not too late to try, to try again, to stop doing the things that hurt you. If you\u2019re still here, it\u2019s not too late. I\u2019ve had to restart my life over and over. It\u2019s been hard, exhausting, frustrating, expensive. I made mistakes, undervalued myself and my skills, and thought I could do more than &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/?p=1892\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">It&#8217;s Not Too Late<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1898,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29,28],"tags":[1451,1450,1444,1447,1468,1470,1448,1459,1460,1442,1463,1456,1464,1454,1455,1462,1449,693,1441,925,1461,1467,1466,1453,1465,1452,1446,1445,1469],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1892"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1892"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1892\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1897,"href":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1892\/revisions\/1897"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1898"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1892"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1892"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lauragrey.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1892"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}