I’ve watched the whole of The Sopranos at least five times. Every few years I watch it all over again, and each time I’m reminded me of how incredibly good Nancy Marchand was in the role of Tony’s narcissistic, always-the-victim, faux-martyr mother, Livia.

Before The Sopranos, Marchand had been known as a gifted stage actress, as well as for her portrayals of elegant, powerful women, such as the patrician newspaper publisher Margaret Pynchon in the popular TV show Lou Grant. For her portrayal of that character—which was based on Washington Post publisher Katharine Graham—Marchand won four Emmy Awards.

Today the esteemed performer is best remembered for her marvelous turn as Livia Soprano. Livia is a bullying harridan who feigns weakness and cluelessness, but she works behind the scenes to form vendettas that undermine those who go against her—including her own family.

Nancy Marchand, a long-time chain smoker, was suffering with lung cancer, COPD, and emphysema throughout her time on the series, which makes the power and impact of her performance even more impressive. For her indelible performance as Livia Soprano, she earned a Golden Globe in 2000. She died that same year, one day before her 72nd birthday.

Series creator David Chase’s decision to name her character (who was modeled on his own mother) after Empress Livia, the conniving wife (and many say, murderer) of Augustus Caesar, was an apt and brilliant move. Both Livias wielded power from behind the throne, were assumed to be supportive but were forever furthering their own motives, and built up or destroyed the men around them with their powerful words, passive (or active!) aggression, and behind-the-scenes conniving.

Livia Soprano’s signature response to everything Tony says to her is a malevolently mocking “Oh, poor you!” Each time I hear a certain leader whine and moan about how hard he has it and how his life is so unfair, all I can hear in my head is Livia’s voice bleating out her complete lack of sympathy for a self-victimizing man who’ll do anything to get what he wants.